Sometimes the stupidity gets piled so high and deep that I wind up just shaking my head. Yeah, I realize that some people just feel that they have to top the past sexual revelation, and when I find myself saying, “Well, this takes the cake,” I have to realize that something even dumber will soon arise.

When my boyfriend transitioned into my girlfriend, men started to regularly hit on her. It feels like they’re erasing our queer relationship.

Story by insider@insider.com (Lucy Aalto) • Tuesday, May 2, 2023

When Summer came out as transgender, the people around us — both the people we knew and complete strangers — started treating us differently.

I’m shocked, shocked! that people would treat a couple who previously fit in, at least on the outside, as normal, would be treated differently when they ‘transitioned’ into not normal.

Now that we both identify as women, people treat me like a queer woman for the first time in my life, even though I had been openly identifying as bisexual for years. But I was most surprised by the amount of attention we got from strangers in public, especially from men.

The author, Lucy Aalto, may have “been openly identifying as bisexual for years”, but how would strangers have known that?

Before Summer’s transition, our relationship passed as heterosexual. In other words, when Summer identified as a man, I was straight in the eyes of everyone I knew. My bisexuality was easily erased.

When Summer came out as trans and started identifying as a woman, everything changed. As Summer grew into her newfound femininity, people close to us finally noticed I was queer.

While they were all mostly accepting, they had some inappropriate questions. “How do you have sex?” someone asked me as if the configuration of our genitals had changed in the few short months since Summer’s coming out. “A woman wants to be with a man, right?” Summer’s mother asked, looking for assurance that we weren’t just roommates now.

I knew these questions — misguided as they were — came from a place of ignorance, not malice. They were a natural and expected part of Summer’s transition. But for me, they meant something else. I’ve long identified as queer, but for the first time, I was being treated as openly and visibly gay. This brought me mixed feelings. Sure, I’m now being seen for who I truly am, but it comes with the “othering” that so many queer folks experience.

I’m old enough to remember when we were told that it was nobody else’s business what people did in their bedrooms, but this is different on a completely different level. Miss Aalto stated that she is bisexual, but was apparently bothered when people she didn’t know didn’t know that. Now, people are perceiving her as a lesbian, because she’s hooked up with someone who is trying to appear to be a woman, and the couple are into public displays of affection, but that bothers her as well. There’s just no satisfying some people!

The first thing I noticed was the looks. People took note of us in public so much more. Before, the only time I’d felt this way was when we visited my hometown, where the population is majority white. I, too, am white, but Summer is ethnically Chinese. It was clear that some of the locals were not used to interracial relationships. If we felt scrutinized before, it multiplied by 10 the first time we visited after Summer’s transition began.

It’s actually pretty simple, though the author doesn’t seem to recognize it: ‘transgenderism’ is not seen as normal, by the vast majority of the public. Even those who support the cockamamie idea that girls can be boys and boys can be girls as an abstract concept are going to react differently when they actually meet someone who’s trying to do it. This is the bringing the “what we do in our bedroom” part into the public domain.

The author continues to tell us that “Summer” is very physically attractive, and he gets hit on by men — who are obviously drunk or stoned enough not to realize that “Summer” isn’t really the chick they want — when they are in public, even in an obviously ‘coupled relationship.

Of course, the majority of this flirtation comes from men. I don’t fault them for “shooting their shot.” Hell, she’s my girlfriend. If anyone finds her attractive, it’s me. But the male attention doesn’t stop when we’re together. . . . .

It’s a strange dichotomy: We’re so publicly a queer couple now, but some men choose to ignore we are together. It feels like my queerness is being erased in a whole new way.

This is where it really gets amusing: the author doesn’t blame men from “shooting their shot,” she says, but then she tells us that she really does resent it, because strangers aren’t recognizing that she’s a lesbian. More, “Summer” Tao wrote, just two months ago, telling us that he and Miss Aalto were in an “open relationship,” and that he was also into dating men.

We’ve decided to pay no mind to the opinions of strange men. Similarly, we ignore the increased looks in public.

I will not hide my beautiful, queer relationship because others find it strange or want to ignore it. They’re welcome to stop looking whenever they want.

LOL! They’ve “decided to pay no mind to the opinions of strange men,” yet here Miss Aalto is, telling us how much she does mind the opinions of strangers.

At least Mr Tao and Miss Aalto, but really for a lot of the abnormal population, the population who once told us that what they do in their bedrooms is nobody else’s business, very much want other people to have some idea what they do behind closed doors. In a strange way, it’s a form of “arm candy,” men wanting other people to know just what a hot babe they’ve scored, to gain some sort of one-upsmanship and envy over other men, to improve their status by broadcasting that they’ve got a trophy wife or girlfriend. Miss Aalto is acting pretty much the same way, at least from what she has written, but she doesn’t realize what she’s doing.
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