I confess: I sometimes spend too much time on Facebook, and one of the things that keeps appearing there are posts from people, purporting to be alpha males, telling us that women cannot be trusted, that women will leave you for the handsomer or wealthier guy who happens to come along. Man are strong and blameless, and women are just there for men as long as no one better comes along. Lose your job — unjustly, of course — and women will leave, even though there are hundreds of thousands of wives who have stuck by husbands who’ve faced such reverses. These things are written by ‘men’ who never take responsibility for their own failures, but have to find someone else to blame.

If your wife leaves you, maybe it is because you just weren’t a good enough husband.

Robert Stacy McCain wrote:

Call it The Self-Pity Blame Loop. If you are unwilling to accept responsibility for the consequences of your own behavior, you must seek scapegoats to blame. This leads to a pattern, viewing yourself as the victim of unfair treatment, and indulging in self-pity, while becoming resentful of more fortunate people. . . .

If you know people like this, you know the key to their entire personality involves a single sentence: “It’s not my fault!“

Continue reading →