It seems that a car thief from the greater Cincinnati area helped himself to an early Christmas present: someone else’s car. What he didn’t realize was that he was in f(ornicate) around, find out territory.

Couple tracks stolen car to Kroger and shoots accused thief, Kentucky police say

by Mike Stunson | December 20, 2023 | 9:01 AM EST

The vehicle into which the stolen Ford Focus smashed. It’s just a Chevy, so it couldn’t have been worth much anyway. Screen grab from WKRC.

An accused car thief was shot outside a Kroger when the car owners tracked their vehicle across state lines, Kentucky police say.

Police in Fort Mitchell, a Kentucky suburb of Cincinnati, said the shooting happened at the gas station area of a Kroger grocery store Tuesday, Dec. 19.

The couple’s car was stolen around 6 a.m. in Cheviot, Ohio, according to WKRC. A phone was left inside the car, allowing the couple to track where it was traveling.

Then, around 9 a.m., officers were dispatched to the Kroger in Fort Mitchell for a report of a shooting, WKRC reported, citing police dispatch. Fort Mitchell is about 15 miles south of Cheviot. Police said the vehicle owners confronted the alleged thief outside Kroger, and a woman shot the suspect in the neck.

The woman who shot the malefactor is claiming that it was self-defense, as the thief was trying to drive away with her boyfriend, who had slid into the passenger’s seat. The shot was not fatal, and the bad guy tried to escape, but, wounded, he wrecked. The thief was taken to a hospital in the Queen City, with a wound that is said to be non-life threatening.

The local prosecutor said that the incident would be referred to the grand jury. If I were to be on that grand jury — and I cannot be, because I do not live in Kenton County — I would vote against any indictment. In fact, I would vote against any indictment if the shot had blown his brains out, and sent the bad guy straight to Hell.

Fort Mitchell Police Chief Rob Nader said:

We don’t want to see people shooting each other over Ford Fusions. We don’t want people stopping someone who stole your car. Call us and we’ll do it. That’s a busy parking lot. We don’t need other people shot.

In all probability, had the couple done that, the thief would have gotten away.

The penalty for automobile theft is not, and should not be, death, but there is a point at which criminals need to fear that doing such bovine feces could turn out badly for them, much more badly than the statutory penalty for their crimes.