The more I read about crime stories, the more I am convinced that criminals are just plain stupid. They do something really stupid, and then proceed to compound their stupidity by doing something really, really stupid.

From the Lexington Herald-Leader:

KY woman allegedly hit McDonald’s manager, drove away with her on hood for 6 miles

By Christopher Leach | Tuesday, April 28, 2026 | 4:00 PM EDT

A Central Kentucky woman was arrested Friday, April 24 after she allegedly hit a McDonald’s manager with her vehicle and drove off with the person clinging to the hood, according to court documents.

The incident began late Thursday at the McDonald’s on Versailles Road in Frankfort. Court documents say Autumn West, 38, hit a parked car belonging to the restaurant’s manager, which started an argument between West and the manager.

Video surveillance shows the manager standing in front of West’s car trying to prevent her from leaving, but West accelerates forward, hitting the manager and knocking her onto the hood of the car, according to court documents. West then left the McDonald’s and drove to a home on Lyons Drive, which is about six miles away.

Allow me to say that I’m pretty impressed that the manager was able to hang on to the hood of a car while Miss West (allegedly) drove six miles, at high speeds, trying to shake her off the car.

The manager spoke to police after the incident and said she held on to the car while West drove at a high rate of speed and attempted to shake her off the car. When they got to Lyons Drive, West pulled her off the car by her hair and attacked her, according to court documents.

The manager was able to get West’s keys during the fight, preventing her from driving away. Court documents say she ran away, but West chased after her with a tire iron.

Field sobriety tests indicated that yes, Miss West was, again allegedly, intoxicated. Miss West has been charged with:

• First-degree attempted assault;
• KRS §508.030 Fourth-degree assault, a Class A Misdemeanor;
• KRS §189A.010 Aggravated DUI;
• Leaving the scene of an accident or failing to render aid;
• KRS §508.060 First-degree wanton endangerment, a Class D felony, two counts;
• First-degree criminal mischief;
• Menacing;
• Failing to own required insurance; and
• Failing to produce insurance card

Under KRS §532.020, the penalty for a Class D felony is at least one year to a maximum of five years in the state penitentiary, and the lovely Miss West is facing two felony counts.

The first bit of stupidity was that she had been drinking, and still got in a car to drive. Every other bit of stupidity followed from that. The accused is 38 years old, which ought to more than old enough to know better.

Allegedly, of course.